Think about all the time and anguish you’ll save by listening and immediately finding common ground on which to compromise. What does the other party consider a satisfactory resolution? If you ask and listen, the solution offered may be milder than you had imagined. Endeavor to keep lines of communication open.
Arguing often makes the other party become more defensive and want to dig-in and prevail. Take a time out. Figure out what is important to the other party. Is there a hidden agenda? Try to see the other person’s side. Look for points of specific agreement and disagreement. Keep the discussion focused on the key issues. Are you both working from the same set of facts? Maybe a third party would be helpful in offering suggestions to resolve the conflict? In conversation, see if you can plant ideas based on your perspective. Remain calm and positive. Speak with respect. Don’t be condescending. Look for compromise but when you’re right, stand your ground. Decide. Smile. Move on. Someone has to be the bigger person and it can be you. You can’t make peace without talking to your enemy. Say a prayer each day for all of the blessings that you have been given in life. Concentrate on what is right rather than who is right.
How far will you go to find harmony in your relationships? Can you flip a coin, share, give in, negotiate, take turns, agree, apologize, laugh, accept a mediator or pray?
Sometimes there must be resolution through dominance and strength. Sometimes issues are clear and there is no need to hear or understand the other party’s position. Sometimes conflict must be resolved with one leader taking an uncompromising stand, popular or unpopular, and dictating a tough love solution. “You were drunk. You drove the car. You are grounded. Give me the keys.”
