Stop apologizing and making excuses for your children. Set limits and let them know the consequences for exceeding those limits. Meaning what you say is not being mean. If you aren’t in charge, then every interaction between you and your child will dissolve into a deal making confrontation. They will only do one thing if you allow another. You will no longer be parenting but bargaining.
There is little doubt that giving your children everything cripples them. Just as you are tough, you can make your kids tough. If you have everything, you respect nothing. If nothing is ever hard to do, you can never become strong.
Children should be given jobs and responsibilities with corresponding rewards and punishments as early as possible. A three-year-old can pick up his toys. A five-year-old can help carry the beach chairs to the car. A seven-year-old can make her bed and hang up her clothes. A ten-year-old can walk the dog, rake leaves and shovel snow. A sixteen-year-old can get a part time job. If a job is not done or not done satisfactorily, just as in the real world that they will inherit, there should be repercussions. You don’t go to the mall. Your friend can’t come for a sleepover. The repercussions should be simple and immediate. If you make and stick with your policies when the children are three years old, you will have many fewer problems when they are thirteen.
